THE WEDDING DRESS~

POST MAY BE LONG AND TEAR FILLED WORDS CAN NOT ADEQUATELY DESCRIBE THE EVENTS OVER THE PAST 16 YEARS, BUT I WILL TRY~

 IN 1998, MY HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART, ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM. WE WERE SO YOUNG, NIAVE AND INSEPARABLY IN LOVE.  A FEW MONTHS LATER MY FIANCE JOINED THE MILITARY AND INFORMED ME THAT HE WOULD BE GONE FOR ALMOST A WHOLE YEAR. I WOULD STAY BEHIND AND FINISH MY LAST YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL AND PLAN A WEDDING. HE WOULD SECURE A WAY TO PROVIDE FOR US ONCE WE STARTED OUR LIVES TOGETHER.

 WHEN I SAY THE FIRST FEW MONTHS APART WERE EXCRUCIATING, I'M BEING KIND. I THINK I WOULD HAVE PREFERRED DEATH. THIS WAS BEFORE CELL PHONES AND EMAIL SO WE WOULD WAIT ANXIOUSLY EVERYDAY FOR THE NEXT LETTER TO ARRIVE. EVERY WORD REREAD OVER AND OVER. BUT SOON THOSE LETTERS STARTED TO COME LESS AND LESS. THEN THE PAIN LESSEN TOO. WE WERE GROWING APART~

 EVERYONE AROUND US CONTINUED TO PLAN A WEDDING. EVERYTHING FROM THE COLORS, THE FLOWERS AND INVITATIONS WERE BEING DECIDED. I REMEMBER THE DAY WE WENT TO PICK OUT THE WEDDING DRESS. AS THE LADY PULLED IT OUT A LITTLE FOR ME TO VIEW, IM SURE THERE WAS A LIGHT FROM HEAVEN SHINING ON IT, AS IF IT HAD ALREADY BEEN CHOSEN FOR ME. IT WAS THE FIRST AND ONLY WEDDING DRESS I TRIED ON THAT DAY.

 UNFORTUNATELY, I NEVER GOT TO WALK DOWN THE ISLE IN THAT DRESS.

 I MESSED UP, HE MESSED UP, WE ALMOST LOST EACH OTHER~

 ONLY BY THE GRACE OF GOD, WERE WE ABLE TO RECONCILE AND STAND HAND AND HAND TODAY 16 YEARS LATER.

 JUNE 14, 1999 IN WAUKEGAN IL , WE MADE IT OFFICIAL. I DIDNT HAVE ANY FAMILY THERE BUT SOME OF MY HUSBANDS FAMILY DID COME. I THINK THEY WERE GOING TO TRY TO TALK HIM OUT OF IT AND I DONT BLAME THEM.

 OH, THE TEARS I CRIED OVER THE PAST 16 YEARS. HOW I WISHED I COULD HAVE A DO OVER. HOW I WISHED OUR LOVE STORY DIDNT HAVE SO MANY ROCKY SPOTS. HOW I WISHED MY FATHER COULD HAVE WALK ME DOWN THE ISLE AND HOW I WISHED I COULD HAVE WORN THAT DRESS.

 BUT GOD SAW EVERY TEAR AND CAUGHT EVERYONE OF THEM. EVEN THOUGH MY OWN SINFUL BEHAVIOR HAD LED ME NOT TO HAVE THAT PERFECT WEDDING. GOD WAS GOING TO SHOW ME HIS LOVE AND REDEEMING GRACE THROUGH THIS.

 FAST FORWARD TO SEPTEMBER 28TH 2013~
AFTER 14 YEARS OF MARRIAGE, MY HUSBAND AND I REALIZED THAT WE HAD ONCE AGAIN LOST SIGHT OF OUR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER. SO, WE DECIDED TO RENEW OUR VOWS. WE DROVE TO OURAY CO AND ON A MOUNTAIN WE PRIVATELY AND MORE LOVINGLY THAN THE FIRST TIME, EXCHANGED OUR VOWS AGAIN. THIS TIME ALL OF NATURE STOOD AS OUR WITNESSES.

 SEPTEMBER 25TH 2014 (ALMOST ONE YEAR LATER) AFTER DRAGGING MY FEET FOR SOME TIME I HAD FINALLY DECIDED TO START MY OWN PHOTOGRAPHY BUSINESS. WITH A WEDDING BOOKED, I KNEW I WOULD NEED A SECOND PHOTOGRAPHER. SO, I COMMISSIONED MY SWEET HUSBAND. THURSDAY MORNING, JUST 2 DAYS AWAY FROM THE WEDDING, MY HUSBAND ASKED ME IF HE COULD TAKE SOME PICTURES OF ME WHEN HE GOT HOME FROM WORK. HE WANTED TO PRACTICE USING THE NEW CAMERA AND LENS. RIGHT THEN I KNEW THAT I NEEDED TO BE IN A WEDDING DRESS FOR HIM. WHAT BETTER WAY TO PRACTICE FOR A WEDDING, RIGHT!

 SO, I STARTED CALLING LOCAL BRIDAL BOUTIQUES. IM SURE THEY ROLLED THEIR EYES AT MY REQUEST. HI, IM A PHOTOGRAPHER. I'D LIKE TO BORROW A DRESS FOR FREE. TODAY! I KNOW THAT THIS COULD ONLY BE GODS DOING AND HIS PLAN BECAUSE ONE LADY SAID, YES! I QUICKLY GOT READY AND HEADED DOWN TO THE BUSINESS.

 (NOW STAY WITH ME FOLKS, IT'S GETTING READY TO GET GOOD)

WHEN I ARRIVE AT THE BUSINESS I CHUCKLE TO MYSELF AND TEAR UP A LITTLE THINKING ABOUT HOW THIS WAS THE SAME PLACE I HAD COME TO GET MY WEDDING DRESS 16 YEARS AGO. THE SWEET ELDERLY LADY GREETS ME AT THE DOOR AND USHERS ME OVER TO THE WEDDING DRESSES IN MY SIZE, WHICH I HAD STATED TO HER OVER THE PHONE. SHE BEGINS TO PULL OUT THE FIRST DRESS HUNG BEAUTIFULLY IN ITS PROTECT PACKAGE AND I CATCH A GLIMPSE. IMMEDIATELY I KNOW, THERE IT IS! THERE IS MY DRESS! THE DRESS I WAS SUPPOSE TO WEAR 16 YEARS AGO. I WOULD GET TO WEAR IT AFTER ALL. I TRY TO KEEP MY COMPOSURE BUT MY INSIDES ARE FLYING. I DIDNT WANT TO GO INTO A LONG TEARFUL STORY WITH A LADY I JUST MEET SO I HOLD IT TOGETHER. WE CASUALLY CHAT FOR A MINUTE AND THEN I SLIP ON THE DRESS. I WALK TO THE PLATFORM AND STEP UP ONTO IT. IT WAS DE JA VUE! ONLY THIS TIME I SEE MYSELF MUCH OLDER, WISER AND SO MUCH MORE APPRECIATIVE OF THIS DRESS. THE SWEET OWNER OFFERS TO LET ME TAKE MY DRESS AND ANOTHER HOME FOR OUR PHOTO SHOOT. I THANK HER AND WE LOAD THE DRESSES INTO THE CAR. I SIT IN THE CAR FOR AWHILE WITH MY DRESS IN THE BACK SEAT AND JUST CRY TEARS OF JOY AND THANK THE LORD FOR HIS LOVE FOR ME.

 NOW TO MAKE THIS OFFICIAL I WOULD NEED A BOUQUET SO I HEAD DOWN TO A FLORIST SHOP AND AGAIN THIS COULD ONLY BE GOD. HI, IM A PHOTOGRAPHER, I NEED A BOUQUET FOR FREE. TODAY!
( OF COURSE IT WAS SAID A LOT NICE BUT THAT WAS THE JEST) I OFFERED TO REFERR THEIR BUSINESS IN RETURN. SHE SAYS YES! THEY ASK ME WHAT I WANT THE BOUQUET TO LOOK LIKE. (SUNFLOWERS ARE MY FAVORITE FLOWERS) SO, I SAY MAYBE JUST A FEW SUNFLOWERS AND SOME GREENS. THEY QUICKLY WHIP UP A SMALL BOUQUET AND I HEAD HOME TO SURPRISE MY HUSBAND WITH ALL OF THIS.

 WHEN I ARRIVED HOME I TELL MY DAUGHTER THE WHOLE STORY AND SHE WAS EVEN AMAZED. SHE THEN HELPS ME GET READY SO HER DADDY COULD SEE HER MOM IN THE DRESS SHE WAS SUPPOSE TO WEAR ALL THOSE YEARS AGO. WE TALK ABOUT HOW WE WILL BE DOING THIS WITH HER ONE DAY AND WE BOTH TEAR UP AT THE THOUGHT OF THAT. SHE TELLS ME I'M BEAUTIFUL.

 IN THE MEANTIME DAVID HAS NO IDEA. HE HAS NO IDEA I HAVE THE DRESS. HE DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE DRESS WAS SUPPOSE TO LOOK LIKE OTHER THAN WHAT I TOLD HIM ABOUT IT 16 YEARS AGO. I'M TEXTING HIM THE WHOLE TIME ASKING HIM WHEN HE WOULD BE HOME SO I CAN BE STANDING AT THE DOOR WHEN HE WALKS IN. WE SEE HIM PULL INTO THE DRIVE WAY AND I POSITION MYSELF SO I WILL BE THE VERY FIRST THING HE SEES WHEN HE OPENS THE DOOR. I PLACE THE VEIL OVER MY FACE. THERE ARE NO PRECIOUS STONES OR GOLD THAT COULD COMPARE TO THE PRICELESS LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN HE SEES ME. I TRY TO KEEP FROM CRYING. HE LIFTS MY VEIL AND KISSES ME AND THROUGH A SMALL CHOKED VOICE I SAY, THIS IS THE DRESS I WAS SUPPOSE TO WEAR TO OUR WEDDING 15 YEARS AGO. HIS MIND IS SPINNING. ARE YOU SURE? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? I SAY, I'M 100% SURE AND THE ONLY WAY ITS POSSIBLE IS BECAUSE OF GOD. WE EMBRACE AND CRY OVER THIS AMAZING GIFT.

 EVEN RIGHT NOW AS I WRITE THIS, I AM AMAZED. AWE STRUCK. THAT THIS STORY IS TRUE AND ITS MINE. HOW GOD CAN TAKE A SINFUL UNDESERVING HUMAN AND REDEEM HER AND BLESS HER. HOW HE KNOWS  ME AND MY PAIN. HOW HE LOOKS FOR OPPORTUNITIES TO SHOW ME HIS GRACE AND MERCY. I THINK THAT THIS IS WHAT THIS STORY IS ALL ABOUT. SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO WAIT. TO WAIT FOR THE TIME WHEN IT MEANS THE MOST. TO WAIT FOR THE TIME WHEN GOD REVEALS HIS UNENDING LOVE FOR YOU. AND THIS TIME HE GETS ALL THE GLORY!

 SO NOT ONLY DID MY HUSBAND GET TO SEE HIS BRIDE IN HER ORIGINAL WEDDING DRESS THAT DAY. HE ALSO GOT TO BE THE PHOTOGRAPHER TO CAPTURE HER IN IT! HOW AWESOME IS THAT~

Antique teacup and saucer project

I was recently given a box of old mis-matched tea cups and saucers. Many of them were chipped and cracked.

Since it would break my heart to just throw them away I thought about a way to extend their life for just a little longer~ I have been wanting to get some LED lighting to light up the walk way to our front door. I wondered if there was a way to attach the tea cup and saucer to the LED light. I remembered I pinned a video of someone drilling a hole into a tea cup. I watched the video and ran to the store to get what I needed to drill the hole. Here are the items I bought for this project.

( FYI, This kind of glue took forever to dry.  Like 2 days)

I really have the sweetest husband! He is so gracious and willing to work along side of me to complete these projects I come up with.  I don't know what I would do without this guy!

(Attached the drill bit to drill) 

Here we go~

Once we had the holes drilled we placed the LED post through the hole.  We then placed a couple rubber washers to hold it where we wanted it. 

Next we applied the glue to bottom of cup to secure to saucer.  Then we attached the LED globe which sat snug inside the cup and hung it upside down to dry.  We also added glue around the rubber washers.  You may want to check around for different kinds glue to use.  Unless you are very patient. 

Wanna see how this beauty turned out?

She's a beauty at night too~

I hope this tutorial was helpful and if you decide to make one, please shoot me a message. I'd like to hear all about it~

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When people hurt people

Here is a picture of the utter devastation caused by terrorist on 9/11. 

Today has been an exhausting day.  Not only because of the horrific events that happened 13 years ago, but because of my own personal tragedies.  I would never want to compare my pain to those who lost loved one on 9/11 or the trama that they may still be dealing with. You see I'm hurting because I've hurt people.

I recently heard a sermon by Michael Youseff and he stated that a women had written a letter to his ministry office and given a huge check.  The letter went on to state that the money was to go directly to the aid of muslim evangelism.  Here's where I get choked up every time.  You see, her son was killed by a muslim terrorist in front of a military personal building in Little Rock Arkansas, 2009.  I have tried to put myself in the parents shoes.  I know that what she is did is right and not only that, amazing.  But sadly I don't think I would have responded like that.  I probably would have hated every muslim I ever encountered and cursed them to death.  

After hearing that sermon I am all the more convinced that that kind of forgiveness is not only supernatural (meaning it could only come from God) but it is so important to be able to go on. To fully live.  

I have hurt so many people in my life. Some so deeply that I know that only God's sovereign hand could cover and heal that pain.  My selfishness has taken me to some dark roads and I have all but murdered innocent people along the way.  That is why I pray fervently for them and I ask God to bring to mind those that I'm not aware that I've hurt.  Not so I can have the satisfaction of being forgiven but that they would have the ability to forgive me so they can fully live.  That the hurt I've caused doesn't sway them from compassion or harden them. That my name wouldn't bring pain at just the mention of it.  That I wouldn't be the cause of someone wanting to end their life.  These are the things we never think about.  We don't want to think about them.  Hurting someone deeply could be as simple as bullying someone in school.  Making fun of someones looks.  Outcasting someone because they are different than you.  How about absent parents.  I know so many hurting adults because they had absent parents. All kinds of little ( or so we think) things that could have lasting effects on another human being.  Now lets not mention the big ones~ Rape, Molestation, Adultery, Murder.  Selfishness always at the root. 

Galatians 5:19-20 ESV 

Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. 

I feel so much regret.  So I pray that those I've hurt can forgive me and I pray that those who hurt us 13 years ago can be forgiven. Not to diminish the pain they have caused or I have caused but that those who have been hurt can fully live. 

Where I lay my head

So after showing you pics of my daughters day bed in my last post, I thought it would be fun to show you where I lay my head at night.  I have had my room decorated this way for about a year now and I am still in love with the look that was achieved.  Here is a little back ground story.  As I have gotten older I am starting to really find what my style is.  I'm gonna call it eclectic/antique~ For so many years I was trying to copy different peoples styles but thankfully I came to senses and just did me.  I realized through this process that I really loved the color blue.  Although if you ask me what my favorite color is I'll tell you all of them.  Every color has a purpose and is beautiful in my eyes.  In saying that there are some colors that I would not paint my walls in or base a whole room around.  In the case of my room, blue was the starting color.  The kicker if you will.  I decided first to sell my whole bedroom set and piece together furniture that sang to me.  I ran down to me favorite antique shop and began the hunt.  I found three pieces.  A dresser for me, one for my hubby and a tall wardrobe.  I can't remember the exact cost but if I had to guess it would be around 500 hundo for all 3.  They were all different wood colors but mainly in darker stain.  This is where my love for blue and spray paint collided.  I'll post pics of them in another post.  My bedroom adjoins to the bathroom/closet/makeup/sitting area. It was painted with a really cool technique. I believe its called venetian.  I wanted to save it so I choose a color that was close, for the bedroom.  A color called champagne is what I ended up what.  Almost white with a little pink.  I wanted the pieces I had painted and distressed to pop and be focal, not the walls.  The bed was pretty easy.  Antique beds do not come in the regular sizes we have today and if you are spoiled by having a king, its hard to go back down to a full.  Instead I opted to keep the king and just get a frame.  The headboard was made from some really cheap wood we bought from lowes.  I found the idea on pinterest. (here) lizmarieblog.com  We bought 2 sizes and randomly cut and stapled to wall to a king size headboard dimension.  I then stained the wood in ebony.  We didn't get to sleep in our room for a couple days due to strong smell.  Also make sure that you allow wood to shrink or dry.  The wood we got ended up shrinking after we hung it so I have little gaps.  Its not major enough to take it all back down but just a note for anyone who may try this project.  The bedspread was one I had before the room transformation and I loved it so I just changed it up with pillows and bedskirt.  My favorite pillow is the ornate one in the middle.  It makes me happy! So without further ado. Here is where I lay my head at night!

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My Repurposed Life

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Showcasing my teen and her daybed

I have this teen and she's a beauty!

 

But you see, she has some insecurities. Like all teens she is searching for significance and her purpose in life. I remember being her age. Oh, how I hated that time. Kids can be so cruel. That's one of the many reason we decided to homeschool our children. But, even though we are sheltering her from the outside influences, she is still searching for that validation that she is special. I have told her over and over how beautiful she is and how wonderful she is, but she is wanting the world to agree. Our society teaches girls these days that they should be beautiful, skinny, expensively dressed and popular (perfect).  Basically they should look and act like a celebrity. How do our children compete with that expectation? How do we teach them that there significance is not found in things or how many likes they get on their instagram pics.

Romans 12:2  Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

As I write this post, I evaluate why I write on this blog. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to be liked. Its probably one of the strongest desire we have as human beings. The question I'm asking is WHY, why do we do what we do? As christians, we are called to do everything to bring Glory to God. That is what we are created for. So I ask my teen, do things, (clothes, latest and greatest gadgets etc..) and popularity, really bring us significance and happiness?

Matthew 16:26For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?

I would say they hinder us for the real purpose we as Christians are called to do.

Hebrews 12:1  Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.

Now I'm thoroughly convicted.  I was writing about my child's struggles I am being reminded that I too have some work to do in these areas. We all do! It is a constant battle between the Spirit and the flesh.  That's why is so important to stay in the word and be transformed through it.

Now can I ask you a favor!?  Can you help me showcase my sweet teen today?

The homeschool room use to be a spare bedroom.  When we took the queen out, our son asked if he could have it instead of his twin.  I didn't want to get rid of a potential bed for quests so we decided to make a daybed for our daughter to read, play or have her quest sleep on.

I had seen the pallet beds on Pinterest and thought it would be cute for this purpose.  We added chalkboard wall paint for her to doodle on and some fun string lights to eliminate her work.  

I put the verse there this morning, for this post. While she was asleep! I wanted to drive home the point of this whole post!

Thank you for making me so wonderfully Psalms 139:14. 
If the God of this universe says you are wonderfully made, than who can say your not wonderful? 

As far as the color scheme goes (mom) had some say in that.  We have had fun mixing the oranges and teals together.  I think it turned out sweet and spunky! Most importantly, my teen likes it! 

In closing I want to add this little note to my daughter.  I love you, I am so proud of you and I'm so blessed because I get to be mom to someone who is so wonderful!  Love, Mom

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The Heart of a Sunflower

Have you ever seen the heart of a Sunflower? It is exquisite! I love Sunflowers! So when I saw my garden beauties had opened up, I ran for my camera. After, I reflected on what I had captured. Their faces are warmed by the rays of the morning sun. The light eliminating the beauty from within. They stand tall and brave through the heat of midday and their crowns bend in submission to the evening sun. This made me think of my daily walk with the Lord. My mornings should be flooded with light (God's word). My heart open to His love and amazing grace.  My mind reflecting on what great things he has done for me.

Psalm 143:8

8 Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love,
    for in you I trust.
Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. 

I stand tall and brave in the midday sun. My time with the Lord in the morning has encouraged me and equipped me with the strength to get through.

Isaiah 41:10

10 fear not, for I am with you;
    be not dismayed, for I am your God;
I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Then my evenings should be filled with humble gratitude. My head bent in submission to my maker.

1 Peter 5:6-7

6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

I don't know if I can ever look at a sunflower the same way. How about you? 

(SPRAY PAINTED FURNITURE BABY # 3) HOMESCHOOL CHAIRS~

Have I told you guys how much I love spray paint? Well if I forgot to tell you let me fill you in now, I LOVE SPRAY PAINT! I love paint in general and I'm not the all white kind of girl. I love the look of a white on white room but for some reason I keep going back to color. So when it came to the homeschool chairs it was no different. Yep, you guessed it, they started out white. I had originally wanted to get some metal chairs from Target but when my parents offered me a free table and chairs, I knew the chairs were destined to hold little bottoms. Sorry that I do not have before pictures. I was to excited to get them done. Seeings how I waited till the last minute to paint them. (Like the day before we started school, last minute) Just picture the typical white legs and back, with a oak stained wood seat. Here is what it looks like today~

I'll try and walk you through the steps to getting this look. When I first started out I only planned to spray paint the white parts of the chair red. 2 things happened here. I got the red overspray on the seat and I ran out of red spray paint. (I was able to do a light coat on majority of the legs and back.) So, plan B commenced. I went looking for something to cover the rest of the white, preferably something red. I didn't find anything. What I did spot was some teal blue latex paint that we had used to paint my daughters room. I decided to cover the whole chair with this teal and then sanded it off lightly. Thus leaving the red and white peaking though.

The seat has the wood showing on the edges. The look that I ended up with is funky, bold and has antiqued charm. I love them! I also added a red chair cushion for extra comfort.

I hope that this post has inspired you to use spray paint for your next furniture project. And as always, Have a blessed day!

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